'Sparkling mango and orange', I declare.

I've tried over and over to write a post about my social surroundings, always with the same intent each and every time: Jane Austen has shaped my world view dramatically. The familiar mental imagery of sitting in a drawing room, surrounded by wonderfully crisp people, talking about life, the universe, and everything seems to prevail.

Frederic Soulacroix - The Tea Party

All this happens in tones that reflect contempt, happiness, and admiration (and tones that do not). All this springs to mind when I meet someone new or I have a dramatic revelation in my social life. Nearly all of this is shaped by Austen's observation of life-- of why people think and say the things they do, their mannerisms and mentalities and intentions.

Mary Cassat - Tea

Do I see myself as an observer of life? ... maybe not so much as others. But it does bring up the point of how I deeply enjoy patterns in all forms: patterns in fabric, patterns in behavior, patterns in emotions. Even my love of tarot is based on my love of patterns.

Pattern by Julia Rothman


A big, living example of all this is sitting in a circle of friends and somehow removing myself from their conversation to simply watch. You focus on one person and see how their facial expressions betray their actual words and conclude the deceit. Or maybe with another person, observe how they lean in in genuine happiness then recoil in surprise. Yes, it's a rather bizarre form of "people watching"-- especially when its focused on people I know personally, but I like it nonetheless. I love seeing how people tick and the things they lie about, are happy about, and sometimes (unsuccessfully) hide.

I guess my point when it comes to all this, I'm constantly stunned and even shocked at how bluntly and without even a veil of decency some people can communicate. It's more than just uttering curse words (fuck! shit! cock sucker!)--- but more about lack of thought that goes into the words they chose and what they want to get from the conversation.

I'm coming to the conclusion that some people plainly don't think about what weight their words and attitude will have in the long term; how acutely their subtle decisions change people's perception of them.

The prevailing attitude of today is "FUCK IT!"-- almost an abuse of freedom and intellect simultaneously. Yes, just say "fuck it" and say what you want: it's the easy thing to do and frankly very selfish. But how does that make interactions with others easier or harder in the long term? Easier at face value. But that attitude ultimately rots the social core from the inside out and that attitude catches up in the long term.

I'm not condoning manipulation through the medium of conversation... which is the other extreme. Choosing words wisely and with thought out precision should be the goal and a huge weight on conversations. So many people fail to see that point and end up running their mouth for no reason other than to hear themselves speak. Its unfortunate. I'm sure the characters in Jane Austen's books would consider them rude.