Ya, I'm Stressing.

Stress is no joke, and lately I've been under a lot of it. While I was in the shower this morning, trying to decompress, I figured this topic definitely needed covering because honestly, it's overwhelming. Not in a depressing way, necessarily, but in a way that asks: "what do I do?!"

My dad has ulcers so I know that for me personally, I have to watch out before something like that happens to me. But sometimes, my mind gets the better of me and I can think of nothing but that stressful thing that replays over and over in my mind. "Downward Spiral"! It's of course nothing like some drug induced melodrama, but for someone like me, it's serious enough for me to ask if I should have a systematic way to handle it; a routine.

Common activities people suggest:

• Yoga.
• Drinking soothing tea.
• Sleeping more.
• Meditation.
• Just Stop Stressing.

The last option always feels like a slap in the face for me. "Just Stop", my boyfriend says. But for someone as stressed out as I am, it's kind of like saying to someone depressed, "Get Over It". It doesn't help, doesn't make me feel better, doesn't make the stress and worry any less terrible. If anything, I feel it accelerates it. 

When I was younger I used to have panic attacks pretty regularly. I particularly remember one incident where my mom found me curled up against the wall of my room, breathing heavily, having a straight anxiety attack. I've mellowed out a lot since then (I think I was maybe 14 or 15 at the time)-- but the stress is still very real for me today. I've never gotten it checked out because I've only ever viewed it as directly correlated to my circumstances, not implicitly inherent to my physiology. 

Still though, the more time passes, the more I think I should probably be trying each of the things written in the above list. Stress is keeping me up at night, waking me during the night, waking me early. It's like I can feel my stomach in nothing but knots, all the time. So, no more mentality of yoga for weight loss-- I need yoga to de-stress. And less stressful situations in my life, as well.